This April Fool's Day edition is published in the
spirit of goodwill and general hilarity and is not intended to infringe
on any trademarks, patents or pet projects. Tag not to be removed except
by consumer. Dry clean or hand-wash only: dry flat. Warranty does not indicate
merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose, and is valid only
in Newfoundland, on Wednesdays not ending in "y." Void where prohibited
by law or otherwise restricted by local zoning ordinances. Shipping and
handling not included. Condominium association rules, parking restrictions,
and keep-up-with-the-Joneses peer pressure may apply. Decaffeinated version
not available.
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