Ballad of the Ex-Engineer
by Dennis L. Feucht
Innovatia Laboratories
Sung to the tune of "Laredo," by Marty Robins
As I turned onto the big El Camino,
As I drove through Palo Alto one day;
I heard close behind me the sound of a siren,
A man in blue clothing had something to say:
"I see by your outfit that you're a designer.
You probably know Kirchhoff's laws in your sleep.
Your calculator in Polish notation
Tells me what kind of work buddies you keep."
Before I could answer, his needling continued:
"I once was an engineer in Mountain View.
If you have a passion to do engineering,
Don't let my sad story repeat for you too."
"I worked on semiconductor design;
I placed flops on dies in great haste.
Soon logic gates bored me, but analog floored me.
My op amps were noisy and I was replaced."
As the late 60s turned into the nineties.
The labor pool grew from outside of the States.
His hairline receded; new hiring proceeded
Of those from far lands with low hiring rates.
"Your future is also uncertain and threatened.
If you will survive take this warning, my son;
Go find yourself searching for different employment.
Turn in your computer and brandish a gun."
I tried to flee from his vision of doom.
His message soaked deep in my head;
I couldn't outrun it; I had to confront it.
Maybe I should carry bullets instead.
I was o'erwhelmed by his message - so hopeless;
Then a solution appeared in plain view.
I checked the Web for job postings in Hong Kong,
Beijing, New Delhi, and Singapore too.
I booked a flight from S.F. to Taipei,
Arrived in Kuala Lumpur.
Found me an island off the coast of Thailand;
I turned on my laptop and ended my tour.
For you designers in Silicon Valley,
You too can find a workplace in the sun.
Beneath a palm tree, with broadband connection;
Keep your computer and forget the gun.
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