The Swagman Cometh…
by Paul McGoldrick
Swag is a strange word; it can be the drooping
of a piece of fabric; it can equally mean swaying unsteadily, or being out
of control, but when it is used as a noun it becomes really interesting.
When I was a kid, swag was a negative term meaning goods, services or money
obtained by illicit means. The Australian term, swagman, was used for a
transient who traveled with his swag bag, moving from job to job, but with
a background implication that he was really a no-good thief.
At the last trade show I attended it felt like I was a swagman as I left with a large bag (another piece of swag -- even my daughter wears an expensive swag backpack to school) full of goodies -- the new meaning of swag after pop musicians started throwing presents at their audiences -- all given to me by exhibitors or organizations. And it got me to thinking about what kind of swag is "in" these days.
Part of my wardrobe is crammed with shirts that I have been given over the years. Some are really nice; some are of very dubious quality that you wouldn't want to be seen wearing out of the house except to mow the lawn and perform other sweaty chores. The highest quality are, of course, analogZONE's own shirts -- given from time-to-time for reader inputs and worn by yours truly on Editorial visits. CD carrying cases abound in swag at the moment in all sorts of formats, as do PC mirrors: how many can anybody use at the same time? (We're even guilty of one of those.)
Pens come next in the giveaway spectrum. If you flip through a promotions company's catalog you will see the price range for pens runs from extremely cheap (and poor quality) up to rather expensive with, usually, a dramatic increase in quality and pen life. On a recent excursion to Canada it was reported back to us that one of the companies in the Ottawa area was so impressed with an analogZONE giveaway pen (with a cool blue light) that they spent time and energy sourcing the vendor so they could get clones with their own company name imprinted on them. Now that confirms the pens really are swag! And handy for jotting down those 2:00 AM inspirations in the dark.
When I served on the judging panel for the Technical Emmy Awards, I remember some real over-the-top swag in the post-ceremony goodie bags. A tiny Wedgwood plate, and a Lenox seashell dish which now sits in our guest bathroom holding soap. Little crystal cordial glasses emblazoned with the Ampex logo - does that take you back (and, if so, how far)? Limited-edition interactive CDs, back in that pre-DVD era. Even some strange little sterling silver "ceremonial teaspoons" from NEC. I had to take their word for it...but, in my opinion, if they were designed for something powdery it probably wasn't tea.
What is the poorest swag I have seen this year? A bookmark. No, it wasn't gold plated or something. Not even brass. Just a cheap paper bookmark…
What else is hot? USB Flash memory is a great gift, especially for working journalists -- it even comes with a USB extension cable. I have received a pen which also doubles as a cell phone detector: a neon flashes at the top of the pen when it is quite a long way from an operating cell phone. Presumably to preserve battery life it came in a case that is entirely metal clad -- its own little RF cage. Why would you want such a thing? It's fun to keep in it your hand while walking round a supermarket -- amazing how many people cannot even shop for groceries without getting wireless assistance -- but maybe flight attendants should be equipped with one to detect naughty passengers using their BlackBerries in the air?
Another cool piece of swag this year is a dual-dial two-time-zone watch. Nice piece with a leather strap. From an engineering design point of view I would have assumed that they would use a single oscillator for the two displays; but that isn't the case -- since I set the two dials to read the same time I can see the second-hand sweeps moving slowly away from one another. Goes to show how cheap the oscillators must be!
At the show I was last at, one of the most popular pieces of swag being picked up was an oversize walking stick with a heavy metal base; I surmised to myself that it was not something that could be easily talked through at the airport. The TSA is a humorless lot.
What kind of swag would I like to see? A solar-powered pocket calculator with reasonably-sized keys is way up there. I'm also in favor of a return of the classy mug: the last one I saw was one from Tektronix in 2000. How do I remember that? Because it's on the mug. Duh!
What would you like to see coming over the transom as the next analogZONE swag for you? My mother always knew
I would end up bad -- but as a swagman? Well, that she would never
have guessed!